Tips & Coping Strategies

Psychotherapy for Anxiety

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Anxiety can cause us to feel like we are losing control of ourselves, of our situation and of our minds. It is a protective alarm system that helps alert us to danger. But, if you suffer from excessive anxiety, your alarm system may be hypersensitive.

It can also be the result of an active, creative mind getting tangled up in itself. Usually this is through the generation of a variety of ideas; ideas that spiral out of control. Sometimes, our brains send us the wrong message and we panic, or worse, become depressed because we are simply overwhelmed.

Mindfulness is a tool that can be used to have your mind work for you, instead of against you. Other tools (that you will learn about below) can also be developed and will help you to have a plan in place that will allow for you to be better prepared to handle an anxiety attack when it comes on, and to help stop anxiety from getting worse.

Identifying Your Anxiety

Understanding your anxiety is the first and most important step, so you will need to ask yourself some questions and then come up with some honest answers. You may even find that some of these answers are obvious while others lead to startling realizations or more questions.

Try answering the following questions. It is best to write down the answers so that you can review them any time you need to and you will have them to refer to later.

  1. What is happening when you first start to feel anxious?
  2. Is there someone, or multiple people, in your family that also suffer from high anxiety or depression?
  3. Is there anything that just thinking about it that makes you anxious?
  4. Who can you talk to about your anxiety?
  5. Do you have any physical signs or symptoms? Such as:
  • Headache
  • Tight chest
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Sweating
  • Other (the list can be long)
  1. What are your top triggers? Can you identify them?

Tracking Your Anxiety

Tracking your anxiety is a key tool in identifying patterns that may creep up on your and will help you to respond to them in a positive manner and hopefully not with the usual panic you feel. Bullet journals are a more recent and quicker way of keeping track of the day-to-day, without the length of a traditional journal. There are a variety of examples on Pinterest from which you can choose.

When you identify an anxious moment, it is also important to note what you were thinking during this moment.

What was the intrusive thought, what were your physical symptoms, and give your anxiety a rating from low to high. Then, you will want to review your journal either at the end of the day or the end of the week, depending on the frequency of anxious episodes you experience.

By noticing your patterns, you will be better able to tackle them with the proper knowledge and strength that you will process from applying the tools you have learned. Keep in mind that avoiding any triggers or patterns will not help you in the long run but rather will prevent you from moving forward.

Avoidance also has a habit of making a situation worse, because you will continue to build the anxious thoughts up in your head making them seem worse than they actually are. You should remind yourself daily that avoidance may provide short-term relief but is not a permanent solution.

Learning how to face an anxious moment head-on will ultimately be what will allow you to move forward with your life.

Watch for our next post that has practical mindfulness tips and techniques you can use to help calm and ease your anxiety.

Suicide Prevention Through Emotional Wellness and Addiction Recovery

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Suicide Prevention Picture

Suicide is a serious public health issue causing immeasurable pain, suffering and loss to individuals, families and communities nationwide. Nearly 40,000 people in the United States take their own lives every year, a statistic that exceeds the death rate of homicide, automobile accidents and AIDS combined. The causes of suicide are complex, though most often are powerful combinations of mental illness and/or substance abuse.

Suicide prevention efforts seek to reduce factors that increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors while increasing factors that help strengthen, support and protect individuals from suicide. Two such factors are emotional wellness and addiction recovery.

Emotional wellness

Emotional wellness inspires self-care, relaxation, stress reduction, relational intimacy and development of inner strength. In response to negative feelings, emotional wellness allows acceptance of those feelings, understanding of their source and the ability to learn and grow from those experiences. Emotional health strongly influences physical health that also plays a key role in overall wellness.

Pursue emotional wellness by practicing the following strategies:

  • Process occurrences with optimism.
  • Purposefully smile.
  • Show gratitude in order to strengthen relationships with family and friends.
  • Concentrate on mindfulness through various forms of meditation.
  • Accept your imperfection and the resulting mistakes as opportunities to learn.
  • Seek or accept help and support from others when needed.

Signs of emotional turmoil and the need for help include:

  • Withdrawing or isolating oneself from relationships.
  • Acting anxious or agitated, or behaving recklessly.
  • Sleeping either too little or too much.
  • Increasing use of alcohol or drugs.
  • Feeling hopeless or like a burden to others.
  • Experiencing extreme mood swings.
  • Fantasizing suicide.

If emotionally unwell and struggling against suicidal ideation, first understand that you are not alone. Feeling suicidal is not a symptom of character defect, but one of overwhelming pain. With treatment and support, however, this pain will pass, and suicide will have been a permanent and destructive ‘solution’ to a temporary problem. If you find yourself unable to consider solutions other than suicide, it is not that they don’t exist, but that you are currently blinded to them. Seek guidance from trusted counselors, friends or loved ones.

Addiction recovery

While depresion and other mood disorders are the leading risk factors for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse follow closely. In fact, research has shown that the strongest predictor of suicide is not psychiatric diagnosis, but alcoholism. People with substance abuse disorders are six times more likely to commit suicide than the general population.

Substance abuse not only increases the likelihood that a person will take their own life, but can also provide the means for committing suicide. Roughly one in three people lost to suicide are under the influence of drugs, usually opiates such as oxycodone, heroin or alcohol. Depressants such as these can trigger symptoms of depression, increasing the threat of suicidal ideation, as well as lower inhibitions, enabling people to take risks that they ordinarily would not.

The most ideal setting for addiction recovery is inpatient treatment, which often yields greater success that outpatient treatment or various single solutions. One clear benefit is that inpatient addiction treatment involves the addict surrendering to thorough care for a length of time.

Other uniquely beneficial attributes of inpatient addiction treatment are isolation and protection from negative influences, around-the-clock support from teams of specialists who genuinely care and multi-layered approaches that include detoxification, return to normal functionality and acceptance of change.

There is hope for suicide prevention through the practices of emotional wellness and addiction recovery.

Guest post written by Melissa Howard who is the Head of Prevention Outreach for StopSuicide.info

Stop Negative Self Talk

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We don’t always realize it, but what we think – we feel. When we are constantly telling ourselves we are not good enough, smart enough, or only focusing on the negative things, it begins to change how we feel on a daily basis.

But what can we do?

Catch it

The first step toward unraveling negative self-talk is to identify it. Sometimes our negative thoughts are so automatic we don’t even recognize them for what they are. Paying attention to what you’re telling yourself is the first step toward changing it. One way to do this is to write your self-talk down for a week or two. You may find a pattern that you can untangle and shift in a more positive direction.

Challenge it

Don’t believe everything you think. When you have a negative thought, tell yourself to “Stop!” or “Thinking!” Then, test it by asking yourself questions like:

  • What evidence do I have, if any, that this thought is true?
  • Would my best friend say this to me?
  • If I were in a better mood, would I still see things this way?
  • How can I interpret this situation more positively?
  • What’s the worst that could happen if I do this? The best thing?
  • Will it matter in a year, or two or three?
  • Does this thought bring me closer to my goals or just get in my way?

Change it

Once you’ve learned to recognize negative self-talk, and test those thoughts that stand in your way, you’ll want to replace them with something more positive.

  • Focus on the goal: If you’re unhappy about a situation, ask yourself what steps you can take to help solve the problem.
  • Watch your language: If you’re not at your best, think, “I feel stupid” (or unattractive or whatever) rather than “I am stupid.”
  • Don’t confuse feelings with facts: You may think, “I don’t have any friends,” when the truth is you’re simply feeling lonely.
  • Let your light shine: Remind yourself that you are as deserving as anyone else of love, success and the other good things in life.
  • Give yourself a break: If you make a mistake, remember that it’s OK to be an imperfect human — just like the rest of us.

Remember that you are trying to change thought patterns that have probably been in place for most of your life. It takes time and practice, so be gentle with yourself!

Emotional Connection: 3 Quick Tips to Feel Your Feelings

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When you have a million things on your plate, the last thing you probably ever think about doing is stopping to notice how you’re feeling. You might wonder, “What if I get caught in a funk and I can’t get out? “Who will do all the thCounselling and Psychotherapyings that need to be done?”

It’s impossible to ignore our feelings with the hope that they will just go away. Many times, these repressed emotions will show up in our body as stress, anxiety, fatigue, and even insomnia.

Getting in touch with your emotions can save you from the inner turmoil of keeping your feelings bottled up, or the risk of having your emotions overflow when you least expect it.

It takes some effort and training, but becoming more aware and present with your emotions will allow you to know yourself on a deeper level. This will undoubtedly improve your communication, strengthen your sense of self and enrich your experience of life.

Start by paying attention to your body.

What changes do you notice when you’re feeling angry? Does your face flush? Do you grind your teeth? What about when you’re nervous or anxious? Can you recognize when your heart starts to beat faster? DoeConnect with emotionss your breathing become shallower? Make a note of what you notice. Learning about these changes in your body will help you recognize when a feeling has emerged.

Now, pay attention to your thoughts.

What’s going through your mind while you’re feeling that emotion? Are you giving yourself a hard time because of how you are feeling? Are any “shoulds” popping up? (“I should have…” “They shoudn’t…”). What you tell yourself about how you feel will either intensify that feeling or help you better understand and accept that feeling. Are your thoughts helpful or hurtful?

Finally, pause for a few minutes.

When feelings emerge it’s tough to give yourself the time to pause, but it’s worth it. Pausing helps you not send that angry email or jump to conclusions about another person’s behaviors.

Feelings are a part of the human experience. They are simply information about what you need. If you can pause to accept what you are feeling without judgement, you will be more aware of what you need, how to respond, and will develop a stronger sense of self.

How to Stop Worrying: Ease Your Anxiety

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We all worry about things from time to time. But too many “what ifs” can lead to anxiety and affect our health in many negative ways.

Worry is a problem, not a solution

How to stop worrying

In order to break your worrying habit, you need to let go of the belief that worrying will protect you from difficult feelings. Worrying about a potential storm won’t make the storm easier to weather.

The truth is, even if you worry about those things, you will still feel sadness and disappointment when a storm passes through your life.

It’s also not necessary to worry about something in order to plan ahead. Worrying rarely produces concrete solutions to problems. When you can separate your association between worrying and feelings of safety, protection, or preparedness, you can begin to challenge this disruptive habit.

Make a list, and check it twice

As hard as you try, attempting to just stop worrying doesn’t work. Instead, try keeping a running list of items that pop into your mind throughout the day and set aside some time to review your list. Worry helps you feel prepared and protected, without actually making you prepared or keeping you safe from harm. Use these steps to replace your worry with actual planning and true feelings of safety.

The steps below can help you come up with tangible solutions for many types of problems or sources of worry. It helps to write them down.Anxiety Counselling London

  • Identify the problem.
  • Identify possible solutions to the problem.
  • Identify the possible consequences to each solution.
  • Choose one solution and carry it out—without procrastinating or avoiding the task.
To establish safety, question the nature of your feelings.
  • Is this worry real or imagined? (If real, see the next bullet.)
  • Did the worry come from your senses or your mind? If sensed, take it seriously and see the next bullet. Otherwise, the worry is imagined and unhelpful.
  • What do I need to feel safe and protected? (Connection with others, change in environment, ask for help, etc.) Take action.
  • When the worry is imagined, let it go by remaining in the present moment.

 

Do you worry too much? Learn how counselling can help!

Self-Care for Busy Women: Tips to Refuel Your Tank

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As a busy professional, mom, or both, you probably find that it is extremely difficult for you to make time for yourself, and your quality of life might be suffering because of it.

But when you hear the word self-care you think “ya right, when do I have time for that!”

Well I want you to know that it may be easier than you think to make some much needed time for yourself. It is not necessary for you to block off a big chunk of time in order to practice better self-care. Going to the gym, getting your hair or nails done, or getting a massage is usually what comes to mind when we think of self-care. Yes of course those things are great when time permits, but self-care should also be something that is not just one more thing to do in a day. It is much more than that.

Self-Care is about doing things that leave you feeling refreshed and recharged. Real Self-Care is about taking care of yourself in a physical, emotional, and mental way. It’s about reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. 

Below are some ideas to get you started.

Self-Care Counselling London

Pay attention to what your body needs.

If you feel like you are hungry, eat. If you are tired, take a break. Listen to the cues your body is giving you. I hear many moms say that they get so side tracked with other tasks throughout the day that they don’t eat a thing until dinner time. For your body and brain to function properly, it needs fuel and rest. 

Be alone

It may feel difficult to get away, but taking 5 or 10 minutes to sit quietly in a dark room can help you to feel re-energized and grounded. Try to focus on a place that brings you joy. I often imagine sitting outside with the sun warming my face.

Say NO – without feeling guilty

You might not believe me but you can’t be everything to everyone! People in your life are always going to be asking you to do things for them. As women we tend to feel guilty for not taking care of others. As uncomfortable as it may be, sometimes you just have to say no.

Saying no can be difficult at first, but once you realize it also comes with a sense of relief, you might just start doing it more.

Say YES – without feeling guilty

I’m not trying to confuse you, but it is also important to say yes to things too! Saying yes gives you an opportunity to view your needs as a priority. Just make sure that you are saying yes to the things that you want to do, and that they will leave you feeling refreshed, not drained.

Get outside and be with nature

Ah my favourite! Take a walk, sit under a tree or just take five minutes to breathe in some fresh air. Being in nature, or even viewing scenes of nature, reduces frustration, anger, fear, and stress and helps to increase feelings of calm.

Hydrate

Did you know that you’re already dehydrated when you start to feel thirsty? It is recommended to drink about 2 liters of water per day to stay properly hydrated. Adding lemon might help – try sipping on a warm lemon water in the morning to aid in digestion and help give your complexion a boost.

Once you understand what works best for you, it makes self-care so much easier to do and fit into your busy life!

 

I invite you to explore this site to learn more about how Counselling can help!

Stress Management Tips

I hate to admit it, but stress is a natural part of life and expecting it to simply go away is not realistic. Stress is the body’s response to a real or perceived threat. It is meant to prepare us for some kind of action to get us out of danger. But most of the threats we face today aren’t something that we can fight or run away from. I mean you could run from your difficult boss or your other responsibilities (trust me we have all thought about it), but it likely wouldn’t make things easier. Modern day “threats” are usually problems that we have to work through. Just because you suffer from stress it doesn’t mean you have to let it dictate your life. Below are a few stress management tips that can help you if you find stress is having a negative impact on your life and happiness.

The best way to loosen up and relax is by exercising. This does not mean that you need to start doing intense cardio but a light jog, walk around the park or simply putting on some upbeat music and dancing around works great. Pick an activity that is fun for you. While exercising, make a conscious effort to not think about work or any other thing in your life that induces stress, but rather focus your thoughts on something that calms you.

Another very effective way of managing stress is to talk about it. Instead of letting thoughts and emotions build up inside you, choose to talk to a friend, family member or even your therapist. Talking about these things can help us make sense of the situation and figure out how to sort it out. It also allows us to understand that if something is beyond our control then worrying or obsessing about it isn’t going to get us anything but stress. By talking about it you may also begin to see the problem from a different perspective and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Stress Management

From personal experience, one of the most important things is to have faith in the belief that nothing is permanent. Knowing and truly believing this is so liberating that you instantaneously feel free and you might actually feel the stress leaving your body. Whenever you are in a stressful situation, just calm yourself by thinking that you are strong and this too shall pass.

It is also important to remember that life is not all about work and money. Take out some time just for yourself every day and do what you love. It can be something as simple as enjoying a cup of tea or reading a book, but do something just for you. Everyone has responsibilities and there will always be more work to do and more money to make, but your health is the most important thing. You are the most important thing. So, make time for yourself!

Finally, you may need to make serious changes in your life if it is becoming too stressful. Nothing should be more important than your peace of mind and only you have the power to make things better for yourself. Identify the things that are the cause of your stress and learn to set boundaries. For instance, if it’s certain people then filter them out of your life. If your job is taking its toll and making you ill, maybe it is time for you to make a change. You might be afraid of change but really it can be very liberating. Learn to move forward and let go.

Have faith that stress is something that can be manageable if you choose to recognize it for what it is. Make the small but powerful changes in your life and I promise that you will start to feel liberated from the stress-causers around you!